Saying no more often.

This time last year, I had a complete meltdown. Like, the epic kind. I wouldn't call it a breakdown... I mean, no professionals had to intervene or anything... but after countless nights of just 3-5 hours of sleep and the development of a pre-workout drink obsession multiple times per day, I think meltdown pretty well explains it. And what it really boiled down to was that I'd spent far too much time saying "yes." Yes to volunteer activities. Yes to additional work responsibilities. Yes to teaching more classes and coaching more clients. Yes to additional travel. My schedule was a nightmare.

And I was miserably unhappy.

I've spent most of my life saying yes. I did it because I never wanted to be overlooked. I was quiet growing up but I was also responsible so people knew that they could ask me to do something and it would not only be done, but would be done well. As a quiet kid, and really, even as an adult, saying yes meant that I would get a little bit of attention.

The problem with saying yes all of the time is that you may actually be missing out on things you'd like to say yes to. At one point, I found myself teaching 10 classes per week at the gym, working full time (and spending a lot of that time in the car), coaching youth volleyball, coaching clients in health and fitness accountability groups and serving on two or three boards/committees. Talk about a high speed track to burn out.

And that's exactly what happened. I remember taking time off during the holidays last year and just crying big alligator tears because I couldn't do it anymore.

Friends, this is not the first time I've done this to myself. It was, however, the first time in a long time. I tend to allow myself to go into full-on introvert mode, as I like to call it, when this happens. I don't recommend this to anyone, but if you've been there, you know what I'm talking about.

I just stopped everything.

I stopped going to board/committee meetings. I cut my class schedule back to one or two classes per week. Volleyball ended so I was done coaching. I only took on select clients for health coaching and stopped running monthly groups. I stopped traveling so much for work (partially for agency budgetary reasons, however, I also see that somewhat as divine intervention). And you know what happened?

Not much of anything.

I spent time really reflecting on all of the things I'd been doing and what really brought me joy (or what didn't). For a few weeks, when I got home from work in the evening, I didn't jump on the computer or my phone to check in with clients. Instead, I made dinner with my husband or went for a run. On the nights I taught class, I scheduled time to watch a movie with the kids afterward or read a book. I taught myself how to do a handstand. I had wine with friends. I prayed. Because when I was saying yes to everyone and everything, what I was also doing was saying no to God.

After some time passed, I slowly added some more classes back into the schedule at the gym (3 per week, max). I became an Ambassador for the Chamber of Commerce and joined a committee that I feel passionate about. I started scheduling time to myself every day like it's an appointment and I use that time to work out or take a bath or sometimes, just to sit.

I started saying no a lot more.

You don't have to be everything to everyone. Find the things that mean the most to you and focus your time and energy there. One thing I've started practicing is to take 24 hours to make a decision. If someone asks me to do something, I just politely say that I will check with my husband and our schedules to see if that works for me and respond the next day. Time is valuable. Protect it.