It's okay to not be okay.

My joke of the day is that my life is currently be held together with a single bobby pin. 😊

I listen to podcasts while I get ready every morning and today, this really stuck out to me: It’s okay to not be okay right now. Things are uncertain and chaotic and we all have our own thoughts, feelings and emotions about what is going on. And it’s going to be okay. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but eventually. We are all in this together (even though we have to stay away from each other). Every person is affected, not just me or you.

I recently started processing through some things from years ago that are very painful and the reality is that now was maybe not the best time, but also no time is ever really a good time. But what it’s teaching me is that feeling it is okay. I’m actively an avoider – so my go-to in life when I’m struggling is to get extra busy – more time at the gym, more time at work, just “more” of anything to keep my mind from having to think, feel or process whatever is going on at the moment. So, in a time where gyms are closed, two of my vacations have already been canceled and one potentially in the crossfire, sporting events are canceled and most places are closed or close early, it’s a struggle. The downtime is not comforting to me at all. If it is for you, then I’m glad you have this time to think, reflect, clean closets, bake or whatever other projects you’ve decided to take on. But if you’re like me, I can imagine that you’re struggling, too. And here’s what I’ll tell you – it’s okay to feel whatever it is that you’re feeling right now. It’s okay to not be okay.

For me, this is a time of practicing resiliency. And patience. And for showing a little compassion and empathy. And not being selfish. Because even though there are things going on that I don’t agree with, avoidance is not currently an option and selfishness serves no one. Negativity breeds more negativity and we all know no one needs that now (or ever, honestly).

I’m fortunate to be what has been deemed an “essential” employee, but our kids are struggling with feeling cooped up and missing their friends and families and other supportive people. We go to work every day and try to stay positive and build them up so that they don’t crumble, all the while some of us are crumbling ourselves. Hard times tend to bring us together in ways we don’t see otherwise, so we just have to keep showing up. You have to keep showing up, too. For yourself, your family, your co-workers – it’s not a time to be defeated, even though it sometimes feels that way. Eventually, this too shall pass.

I don’t have any anxiety (surprisingly) about any of this (at least right now) because I have faith that God has a plan and my trust is in Him. Even though I’m not enjoying the extra downtime, I am digging into scripture and my relationship with God more these days. And aside from dealing with some of my own tough stuff, I’m just trying to be here for people in whatever way I can.

So hang in there. And remember that it’s okay to feel whatever it is you’re feeling right now but it’s not okay to live there forever.

I seriously cannot wait to hug some of you when all of this is over.